Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Ungood Grammar'd Update
Hi. So, I don't have ultrasound pics because they didn't perform an ultrasound and Jen's appointment last Friday went great and the baby looked good and the heartbeat looked good and the cervix looked good and the Dr. only said Jen needed to start gaining more weight and stay tuned because we find out the sex on Thursday when we get the 3-D ultrasound and I will post a few of those pics this weekend and is this the longest run-on sentence ever or what because I'm not sure but I think it just might be.
Lame entry so here's some clean baby humor (I've stolen this material and I feel no shame). I found some good not-so clean baby humor too so email if you want that.
Things Guys Should Not Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Honey, can you push a little harder? Monday Night Football starts in half an hour.
-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
-- Cool - When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
-- You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
-- Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
-- Stop your swearing and just breathe.
-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class: HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.
-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
Lame entry so here's some clean baby humor (I've stolen this material and I feel no shame). I found some good not-so clean baby humor too so email if you want that.
Things Guys Should Not Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Honey, can you push a little harder? Monday Night Football starts in half an hour.
-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
-- Cool - When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
-- You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
-- Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
-- Stop your swearing and just breathe.
-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class: HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.
-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
A lesson in Placental Anatomy...
I have a certain circle of friends and we used to spend two weekends a summer at the Apple River Hideaway campground in Somerset, WI (God's favorite state). We tubed, played jarts & football, grilled food, and visited, but we were also listed on the Anheuser-Busch calendar of revenue generating events behind only Ozzfest, the Midwest Regional Softball Championships, and Sturgis. And, in general, when we spent time together staying up until 3 or 4 am was not uncommon and there were often legal and morally questionable acts occurring that... well, you get the picture. For the real adults out there, which does not include me, I'm somewhat kidding. Hopefully, you understand I'm establishing we were simply enjoying our youthful freedom.
Jen and I spent time with this group of friends a few weekends ago and it became clear in immediate and abundant fashion that things are vastly different. There were something between 10-15 children in the house and three (!!) pregnant women. I may be exaggerating about the children, I don't know. One could not possibly keep track of them all. I'm not exaggerating about the women. ALL of these women are due next May (once again - !!), so the evening's subject matter really had one area to go. That is until a few of the guys - I was one of them - escaped to the garage to talk about sport cars, the next sports car we planned to own, the nuances of owning a convertible sports car vs. a coupe sports car, and of course hunting, football, four wheelers and other various man-centric topics. However, there was no hiding from the fact that on the other side of the door leading into the house awaited the reality that we had all grown and taken on massive amounts of responsibility. This responsibility, had you seen us carousing at the Hideaway campground, would have seemed unlikely if not impossible but most of the men in the makeshift man-cave seemed accepting, even pleased, with their fate.
Which weakly leads us to this week's update: Jen received a call from Dr. Mohling the Thursday after the "mango incident". He left a message: "I don't want you to worry, but I've reviewed your ultrasounds from Sunday night and I need to speak with you as soon as possible". - Dramatic pause here - Let's review that message: we have an "I don't want to worry you", immediately followed by an "I've reviewed your ultrasounds and need to speak with you ASAP". Dr Mohling gets an F-minus in bedside manner for that day. Well, after receiving the most fear-inducing phone message since the dawn of modern communications, and playing a bit of phone tag with Dr. Smooth-tongue, Jen finally spoke with him to learn that she has a condition called Placenta Previa. This means that Jen's placenta is covering her cervical opening. This condition usually corrects itself but if it doesn't, the best case scenario is a C-section delivery. It's also less likely to correct itself if it's "complete previa", meaning the placenta completely covers the cervical opening. I'll give you one guess how much of Jen's cervical opening is covered...
The picture below shows exactly what I'm talking about( and click here to see a great site containing info. about Previa and all things baby related). But, a synopsis: only 10% of the women who have the condition mid-term deliver with the condition. The condition can correct itself even if it is discovered in the third trimester, so we get a check in the plus column there.
I've mentioned to several people that I sincerely thought pregnancy would be 9 months of waiting around before shorty #2 makes a good night's sleep exponentially less attainable. Wrong. In all seriousness, it's a very stressful, very long wait. I spaz whenever Jen hiccups. I know my personality leans toward spastic, but there are some real concerns that in my mind justify it. So, that's my frame of mind until May 5th, or until the Doc says that it is a statistical certainty this baby will be born healthy and happy and from the look of the brain cavity will most likely hold some important position in world leadership, a fortune 500 company, or with the Green Bay Packers. Jen's frame of mind is completely dependent on the day. Her health is volatile, to say the least, and she still suffers from occasional headaches and morning sickness, although it's not nearly as severe as the first trimester. Ryan has been adorable. He has added the baby to his exclusive and hot-ticket, post-prayer blessings list. He knows to be careful around mommy's belly and he knows the doctor is going to take his little sister/brother out of mommy's belly. Every time I ask him if he's excited about having a little baby sister (it's easiest to stick with one sex), he says "oh yeah. Mmmmm doctor, mmmmmmmm take out mommy's belly?".
I will post new belly pics & ultrasounds after this Friday's check-up. In the meantime, check out what happens when Curt shoots a high-powered rifle (it's hard to see, but that's blood running down from my left eyebrow). Don't worry though, I fared much better than the deer.
And say a prayer for Jen and Jr. if you have the time, we all appreciate it.
Jen and I spent time with this group of friends a few weekends ago and it became clear in immediate and abundant fashion that things are vastly different. There were something between 10-15 children in the house and three (!!) pregnant women. I may be exaggerating about the children, I don't know. One could not possibly keep track of them all. I'm not exaggerating about the women. ALL of these women are due next May (once again - !!), so the evening's subject matter really had one area to go. That is until a few of the guys - I was one of them - escaped to the garage to talk about sport cars, the next sports car we planned to own, the nuances of owning a convertible sports car vs. a coupe sports car, and of course hunting, football, four wheelers and other various man-centric topics. However, there was no hiding from the fact that on the other side of the door leading into the house awaited the reality that we had all grown and taken on massive amounts of responsibility. This responsibility, had you seen us carousing at the Hideaway campground, would have seemed unlikely if not impossible but most of the men in the makeshift man-cave seemed accepting, even pleased, with their fate.
Which weakly leads us to this week's update: Jen received a call from Dr. Mohling the Thursday after the "mango incident". He left a message: "I don't want you to worry, but I've reviewed your ultrasounds from Sunday night and I need to speak with you as soon as possible". - Dramatic pause here - Let's review that message: we have an "I don't want to worry you", immediately followed by an "I've reviewed your ultrasounds and need to speak with you ASAP". Dr Mohling gets an F-minus in bedside manner for that day. Well, after receiving the most fear-inducing phone message since the dawn of modern communications, and playing a bit of phone tag with Dr. Smooth-tongue, Jen finally spoke with him to learn that she has a condition called Placenta Previa. This means that Jen's placenta is covering her cervical opening. This condition usually corrects itself but if it doesn't, the best case scenario is a C-section delivery. It's also less likely to correct itself if it's "complete previa", meaning the placenta completely covers the cervical opening. I'll give you one guess how much of Jen's cervical opening is covered...
The picture below shows exactly what I'm talking about( and click here to see a great site containing info. about Previa and all things baby related). But, a synopsis: only 10% of the women who have the condition mid-term deliver with the condition. The condition can correct itself even if it is discovered in the third trimester, so we get a check in the plus column there.
I've mentioned to several people that I sincerely thought pregnancy would be 9 months of waiting around before shorty #2 makes a good night's sleep exponentially less attainable. Wrong. In all seriousness, it's a very stressful, very long wait. I spaz whenever Jen hiccups. I know my personality leans toward spastic, but there are some real concerns that in my mind justify it. So, that's my frame of mind until May 5th, or until the Doc says that it is a statistical certainty this baby will be born healthy and happy and from the look of the brain cavity will most likely hold some important position in world leadership, a fortune 500 company, or with the Green Bay Packers. Jen's frame of mind is completely dependent on the day. Her health is volatile, to say the least, and she still suffers from occasional headaches and morning sickness, although it's not nearly as severe as the first trimester. Ryan has been adorable. He has added the baby to his exclusive and hot-ticket, post-prayer blessings list. He knows to be careful around mommy's belly and he knows the doctor is going to take his little sister/brother out of mommy's belly. Every time I ask him if he's excited about having a little baby sister (it's easiest to stick with one sex), he says "oh yeah. Mmmmm doctor, mmmmmmmm take out mommy's belly?".
I will post new belly pics & ultrasounds after this Friday's check-up. In the meantime, check out what happens when Curt shoots a high-powered rifle (it's hard to see, but that's blood running down from my left eyebrow). Don't worry though, I fared much better than the deer.
And say a prayer for Jen and Jr. if you have the time, we all appreciate it.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Week 14 - Mango Madness...
When I started this blog, I made no promises as to the frequency of the updates, and this is a good thing as I've been the ultimate slacker. The main reason? We have a poor quality digital camera - not that it's mattered as Jen has been reluctant to let me take photos of her belly (as you can see that's changed, please see disclaimer below), and finding a scanner to make jpeg files out of the ultrasound pics has become my equivalent to the quest for the Holy Grail. Now, I understand a high-quality scanner can be had for under $100 at any electronics store, and our friendly neighborhood Kinko's has 3 pimple-ridden teens ready to handle this chore for me, these expenditures are not in the budget of time nor money for this guy. I believe a resolution is near for both of obstacles however as my dear friend Mrs. Linda Herubin has agreed to do her best to scan the pics for me. AND, Jen and I have agreed to give each other 1/2 a digital camera for Christmas. ...for those of you that are short on the wit: the 2 halves will belong to the same camera.
This weeks update: Last night we had a scare: Family Stratton was enjoying a laid back Sunday of football, Spiderman, time-outs and mango when we discovered that one of the above actually makes Jen's face swell up until her lip resembles that of Naomi Watts' in the Ring II. You know, when she was about 4 years older than when she made the Ring and the weight of her massive lower lip had started to pull the rest of her face down with it, and her cheeks looked like she had half a bag of Big League Chew between them and her lower jaw. Along with this, Jen's color changed to a hemmorhoid-red. ...I've never seen a hemmorhoid, but it's funnier than what she really looked like which was the crayon in Ryan's color box named "Brilliant Red". (After some deep reflection and investigatory follow-up as to the possible cause from list above, I've decided to discontinue serving mango to Jen ).
But, what secured our trip to the ER (#2 for you math pundits) were the cramps she was experiencing with the reaction. After pounding a cup of pills that we were assured were safe for Jr., Jen received an "informal" ultrasound. Baby looked fine, and we even saw him/her move. The heartbeat was strong and we felt relieved. We were alarmed however at the baby's position. Jr.'s head was in line with the cervix as though about to be delivered. We were told by the attending and later the ultrasound tech that "they move around and can be in any position at any time, especially at this age". This did little to reassure us as Jen had spoken with a girlfriend the day before who'd experienced similar symptoms and circumstances during her first pregnancy (lots of cramping, baby was in line with the cervical opening). She & her husband inquired several times as to the reason and consequences of this and were assurred all was well. One morning, around 4am, she woke bleeding. The Doctor on call reassured her and told her to come in when she woke for the day. They went to the ER anyhow and she was immediately airlifted to the Twin Cities (they live in Mankato). She delivered their son, Jack, after 20 weeks of pregnancy. He died 3 hours later. I cannot imagine the heartache that couple felt, being with their first-born for three hours the whole time knowing it was to be their last... It seems impossibly unfair and my heart goes out to anyone who's experienced such a horrible loss.
We spoke with Jen's friend on the phone while we waited in our treatment room. We took the names and numbers of the specialists she's working with to ensure they don't go through that again and we plan to use them to get more information and a 2nd opinion. I failed to mention that the entire reason this is such a concern with Jen is the LEEP procedure she underwent in July. This procedure can weaken the cervix and it is recommended that a woman waits at least 3 months before attempting to get pregnant after having one. ...We waited 2 weeks.
Back to the ER: the attending performed a pelvic exam and the Ultrasound tech was paged to come in and perform a "formal" ultrasound (the difference? a more well-trained tech and a fancier machine). To anyone else this is probably as exciting as a brown paper bag. To us, it was surreally awesome. The baby was wiggling, arms moving, legs stretching. We have some good pics and I WILL POST ALL THE ULTRASOUNDS THIS WEEK! I'm not a patient man and I feel like a kid at Christmas waiting for this kid to come... In 3 weeks we find out the Jr.'s sex at which point I will call him/her by our chosen names: Ignatius or Rapunzel.
**DISCLAIMER - It is only fair to my wife that I explain to those of you who haven't seen the "before" belly, Jen is rediculously in shape. She is one of those people we all despise because with a loose exercise regimen and a casual attitude toward food, she maintains a well-defined 6-pack with a don't-poke-you'll-hurt-your-finger hardness. This pic is definitely Jen "showing".