Just Curt

Hello! Sorry it's been so long. There's not much to report from the front lines of young Ophelia's development. We had our monthly visit last week with Dr. Mohling, who has gained our trust and confidence with his commanding but gentle presence. During this visit we learned that nearly all empirical traits of this pregnancy are spot on. The baby is extremely active and the only complaint is that Jen still battles an occasional upset tummy. As you can see from the pic below, there is more real estate to get upset. But we are coming down to the home stretch and the anticipation in Casa de Stratton has grown accordingly. But, I'm going to use this entry for something a bit more candid and I realize this is not much on the pregnancy so you can go here if you'd like to see more about what's going on right now.



I came in to work on Tuesday morning and there was an email from a "dude" I used to play in a band with back in ought-3. The band, which broke up in ought-4, is getting back together and in spite of the fact that they are still looking for a new guitarist (good luck replacing me) and bass player, they have already booked a show at the Terminal Bar. Now, some background for those that don't already know... I've played guitar on-and-off since I was 13 and even though I practiced often when was playing, I had no real musical pursuits. I auditioned for and joined this band because I had an itch to do more with my abilities, such as they were. We played several shows around the cities at clubs such as The Fine Line, The Rock and Urban Wildlife. For the musician/guitarist in me, it was easily the most gratifying time of my life. I slumped back in my chair when I read the email, feeling a bit old, a bit melancholic and even a bit trapped. Now, I would most likely not play with this band again for reasons I won't divulge here, but that's not the point. It donned on me that my independence was no longer mine to assert in any fashion I please.



I want a sports car. Actually, I don't want a sports car, I ACHE for a sports car. Specifically an Audi RS4. It produces 418 brake-horsepower and 315 ft lbs. of torque from a 4.2 liter direct-injection V8 engine (I can tell you what all that means, if you like). It has bleeding-edge German-engineered technology in every major system: the engine, the suspension, the transmission, et al. Audi advertises this car will launch from a stand-still to 60 mph in 4.8 seconds, matching it's most worthy and hated rival, the BMW M3. Various road tests, however, have shown it is actually much quicker than that; more like 4.3 - 4.5 seconds. That's supercar territory. Please feel free to insert your favorite male shortcoming compensation phrase here. That sentiment is probably justified. It is also boring. I've owned a Yamaha VMax and a supercharged Audi A4 and to me there is no feeling like taking command of a powerful, sports-tuned vehicle. I'm driving a Toyota Corolla right now (affectionately known as "the Sexy"). Similar to and along with music, which for most offers no tangible reward*, these are passions that produce a feeling I've identified as something I want in my life. It's an escape, an affirmation, a release, a catharsis that I would argue is a part of my identity. But... try weighing the financial responsibilities of a growing family against a $70k German sports saloon. It is bad math.

(* - Exempt are the corporate-groomed boy bands who spend more time on their dance moves than anything related to the music they produce; also, the contestants American Idol has thrown up all over Western society.)

NOW - I love my wife, I love my step-son and I love my life. I'm not goin' anywhere, so please do not misinterpret this post. And don't think this blog is turning into a poor man's "Tuesdays with Morrie". I realize how good I really have it and I am thankful every day for the family, friends, career and opportunities in my life. I'm sure these are feelings most people have when life is about to dump a challenging amount of responsibility on them requiring vast and immediate amounts of personal attention and sacrifice.

I haven't talked about Jen and me in this blog yet, have I? Things are awesome. Jen and I have done a fantastic job with "us". We've figured each other out, for the most part (there's always more to know, isn't there?). We respect each other's differences and we have both made concessions for the sake of our relationship. We fight, as all couples do, but we are usually constructive about it and resolve things to both parties satisfaction. But, it's work. Hard work. And to all whom have told me this in the past only to watch me turn away and mutter "yah, yah". You may grin in my general direction now.

Jen and I compliment each other best in this regard: if I spend too much time smelling the flowers or overreacting to some minor disaster, she is there to put me back on task or plant my feet back on the ground. If we are running low on recreational activity, I'm there to entice Jen away from the real world for some fun. Jen is much more grounded and pragmatic than myself. She will be heads down on her family and career until I drag her kicking and screaming to some lake-side cabin in the Colorado Rockies to retire. And I'm not much for useless existentialism so I won't ponder the meaning of life here, but as I look around, I see the best of what life has to offer.

There are a lot of challenges Jen and I have facing us in the immediate and near distant future. Some of them may even be shared in this blog. I can honestly say that I don't worry about these challenges a fraction of what I would if Jen were not here with me. So, it appears for now that with the baby healthy and growing (see belly pic), and the rest of the family doing well, my biggest problems are that I'll never be lead guitarist for Radiohead, and I may never own a RS4. Which means I'm doing quite well.

p.s., ok, people. It is 9:30pm, Wednesday night and I'm sitting in bed about to put this post out to the world, Jen is lying beside me and the baby is moving so much you can see her arms and legs pushing and protruding across Jen's abdomen. This is a first and it is quite cool. ~ I guess she is saying "Hello".